Monday Funday…that’s the spirit dear. Debenhams.

Monday afternoon…what is a lady of leisure like Chelfie Mackintosh to do…I’ll help you answer that shall I?

Recently my intimate apparel purchases have been bodysuits, teddies & jumpsuits. Perhaps it is due to the change in season ? Perhaps it is a conincidence? Perhaps the brands have all up their game in the sector and are heavily competing? 

It was a fresh Monday afternoon – I don’t understand why people have the hump grump on a Monday afternoon, so many resting bitch faces-  this Monday afternoon I paraded down King Street in Manchester city centre, as happy as one could be. I was ready to explore the beautifully exquisite world of lingerie. 

I passed a homeless lady -I always give to the homeless- and I did not have any cash (only Daddy’s AMEX) so  I offered my posh nosh Goats Cheese, Pepper & Onion Chutney Focaccia sandwich. I get the upmost pleasure through helping others – simple good deeds and random acts of kindness – the pleasure comes deep from my heart and soul, it is a trait permeated from my amazing Mother.

I knew I wanted  needed a body suit – that I was certain of. 

I wanted to explore as I had not preselected the chosen one. Debenhams is the perfect store for this as the store retails 71 intimate apparel brands under one roof – panties paradice. Every woman understands the importance of good underwear and at Debenhams, you can explore a fantastic range of lingerie to support and flatter every body shape. Whether you’re in search of great everyday bras, perfect fitting plus size bras, matching knickers, luxurious bridal lingerie or sculpting shapewear, you will get fixed up darling! Brands include Freya, Ultimo, and Wonderbra, as well as the Designers at Debenhams range – the only issue here is too much choice…


Debenhams own range “Spirit” had jus the gorgeous bodysuit I was looking for – in plum with a stunning purple petal lace design on the bust and trims. 


cheeky Chelfie

The bust is sheer with supportive elastic trims, and the body is made from a supportive & soft  fabric which is oh so flattering for any body shape – it is also remarkably comfortable and reasonably priced at ¬£30

P.S Must style with mask for the ultimate sassy finish. 


Victoria’s Secret : Chantilly Lace Plunge Teddy (bear)

Adjustable strap testing technique ;)

Adjustable strap testing technique ūüėČ

Sunday – the Sabbath – a day of rest

1. cease work or movement in order to relax, sleep, or recover strength.

Hello darlings…

I hope your Sunday has been as splendid as mine – let me tell you all about it.

It has been three whole days since I had purchased any form of lingerie- quite frankly one was having withdrawl symptoms. Must.purchase.a.corset/teddy.

I needed a hug, a thin wrapper on my body, a corset or teddy brings just that along with sexy temptation – a schmully Sunday’s perfect attire.

Alone I sat and I had the burning desire to purchase a teddy!

When I’m looking for the perfect lingerie there are a select few brands that we all know and love – it’s no surprise that Victoria’s Secret is one of those.

I have found the perfect balance of reveal and conceal.

Crafted in beautiful lace, this curve-skimming shape is ultra-daring with a low-cut front, open back and V-string bottom.

Unlined (conceal), Adjustable double straps (do not adjust great – very loose), Hooks at back (double strap too dear), Allover Chantilly lace (to die for fabric – the most light and delicate of all) Plunge front (saucy touch) Open back (sexy back) string bottom (reveal)!

Chantilly Lace

Chantilly Lace Conceal 



Accessorize – prinny perfect – Bralet

Want to add something more feminine to your underwear drawer dear?
Delicate and pretty: this Monsoon bralet is designed with sheer triangle cups, long-line straps and a wide band that sits comfortably under the bust, and slips on and off with ease.

I say Monsoon.. It’s “Accessorize”… I am slightly embarrassed to say so due to the Princess crown above the I…if you’re over 16 then that is just not ok.

Anyhow, since it had been made crystal clear that one didn’t need much support – never been a C cup chicken – I though I may try a sassy lace Bralette on for totes femininity… Ya! 
¬£14 for the machine set…what an absolute steal!

Gee is it underwire which bumps the cost up?

Are Accessorize competing with Primark?

A brand spanking new set of ravishing underwear for ¬£14…what on earth am I questioning for?

I am intruguied to see how sustainable this lingerie is – I’ll keep you darlings updated.


Ultra-skimpy Judy’s electrifying playsuit¬†

Agent Provocauter

Tuesday 15th September 2015


Darlings please just hear me out on this saucy, sparkly, sassy number…

Ultra-skimpy Judy is the ultimate showgirl piece. Impeccably crafted from black elastic strapping, the electrifying playsuit stars a triple choker collar, anchoring further elastic straps which radiate down and out across the breasts culminating in large rose-gold rings above each hip. Criss-cross straps wrap across the stomach and around the waist to the rear. The elastic is embellished with glimmering iridescent crystals, adding a hint of sparkle to this ravishing number.
Come to Momma. Ultra-skimpy Judy ¬†Chelfie – you’re in for a treat

With a whopping price tag of ¬£325 one must head down and slip this slinky number on before I wack it on Daddy’s AMEX. My heart is racing ¬†at the recollection

razzle dazzle

It was Tuesday and I LOVE Tuesdays

After seeing the very attractive female in the black ultra-skimpy Judy Chelfie I needed to recreate this beguling look…one didn’t have a seductive satin blind fold (must rember to purchase)so a pair of fish net stockings were packed for substitute.

I meandered through Selfridges in Trafford Centre, Manchester, trying to compose myself – I was feeling very mischievous and I have no doubt that it was written all over my countenance.

My eyes were frantically searching for the ultra-skimpy and it was no where to be seen. I lapped the store once, twice, three times. I was in lingerie heaven but I set my heart on Judy and I was going to find her and own her. I could not see any pink ladies and darling trust me when I say that I.was.getting.annoyed.

I found myself staring and smiling at the whip – I honestly do not think its acceptable to share these disturbing thoughts with you – they’re not raunchy, oh no, more aggressive and disturbing at the thought of not getting my hands on the Ultra-skimpy electrifying playsuit…

Like an angel from heaven the lovely assistant appeared – hallelujah – praise the Lord

“Hello there can I help you my dear”


I recited the whole description to her proud, LOUD and with every ounce of passion that lives inside my body – it was Oscar worthy

“I need the black Ultra-skimpy Judy, you know the ultimate showgirl piece. The impeccably crafted playsuit made from black elastic strapping, the electrifying playsuit stars a triple choker collar, anchoring further elastic straps which radiate down and out across the breasts culminating in large rose-gold rings above each childbearing hip. The straps wrap across the stomach and around the waist… Right to the rear. ¬†Embellished with glimmering iridescent crystals, this ravishing number is SPARKLE! WHERE IS JUDY?”

“Oh yes they’re in the back I’ll go and grab you one”

There is a God

“DON’T FORGET THE MATCHING NIPPLE TASSLES” (is one line that you shouldn’t shout in the centre of Selfridges at Trafford Centre – but hey I was completely lost in the moment and I couldn’t have gave a toot!

Just applying my pasties

Oh look…just me applying my pasties

It fit like a glove, a sexy slinky elastic glove. The playsuit is one size fits all – from past experience I usually find I do not fit it the “all” category – it fitted all perfectly.

I pinged the black,¬†embellished criss cross straps to test the wear of the fabric – Judy was spanking me and I loved it. The material is thick, black elastic you could hang from the roof by the large rose-gold hoops and Judy would keep you safe – this is not Chelfie behaviour, it’s just a suggestion if that’s what you are in to.

As the pink lady handed the nipple “tassels” over she corrected me as they are in fact “nipple pasties”. Everyday I strive to learn something new. That lesson for today was complete and this justified spending ¬£325 on a very naughty classic.

Don’t tell Daddy.

“You’ve never been a C cup chicken”

Chelfie Mackintosh

Boux Avenue
Liverpool ONE
Sunday 13th September


Boux Avenue L1

Never did one imagine that she was wearing the wrong bra size – I am lingerie queen… I mean darling they’re my nearest and most dearest assets – the voluptuous, fibrous and fatty tissue humps sit right in front of my heart. Alas, all this time Chelfie Mackintosh has been mistaken… I am (apparently) a B cup… A minute, teeny freaking weeny B cup…

Darling please let me tell you how this revelation came about…

So I arranged to meet one of my girlfriends for a Sunday brunch date – I took a cab all the way into Liverpool…to be stood up.

On my fine lonesome, I paraded through Liverpool One shopping centre slightly miffed until a cheeky sign caught my eye “Free Knickers With Matching Bra” hats off to Boux Avenue’s marketing team… You bloody geniuses… I looked into the glass window, directly in-front of the manakin, my head was on a slim beige plastic body wearing a beautiful royal blue two piece… I walked (very fast paced, possibly a slight run) into the store.

Bloody genius

Bloody genius

A gorgeous and super glamorous “scouser” greeted me with a beaming smile as soon as I stepped my designer shoes in Boux Avenue store, the immediate recognition with a smile was very pleasant and came at a surprise.

“Hi how are you today? Why don’t you let us measure you and give you a free bra fitting today?”

My instinct, as always, was to politely refuse as I know my bra size and I don’t want a lady with cold hands touching my torso or seeing my assets… actually…as I began to think in the millisecond, I had not had a bra fitting in years and I had time since I was… stood up.

“Yes absolutely, jolly good, that would be marvellous”

The lovely scouse girl escorted me through the store into the changing rooms Р I did not fully examine the intimate apparel as I was being escorted through the store. I did manage to grab two beautiful sets of lingerie, however they never made it on *sob sob*

I was passed over into the caring hands of Vanessa Р Vanessa was wearing yellow patent dolly pumps which made one feel uneasy

“Take your top off and go in there, leave your bra on though… I’m Vanessa”

Righty-o, sure thing Vanessa. Demanding, firm and stern – I’ll do as she says, I hope I interpreted her correctly. I did exactly as she said. I removed my blouse and stood in trousers and a bra. Vanessa knocked once and entered the changing room, she asked what bra size I thought I was… I presumed 32C –¬†Vanessa let out a howl

“You’ve never been a C cup chicken”

Hold your horses… Did Vanessa really just refer to me as a domestic fowl kept only for its eggs or meat?

After my tape measure examination, I took my 30 B bra measurement card and flounced out. Without free panties!

It broke my heart to leave these hanging

It broke my heart to leave these hanging