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Football underwear problems & solutions 

Darlings…
If you’re a football fanatic like myself or a keen gym goer you must know the absolute struggles of choosing the correct lingerie to train comfortably in! There is so much more thought that needs to go into selecting the correct items. When I buy sports lingerie I measure overall comfort, wedgie factor, visible panty lines , moisture wicking and jump around a little in the changing rooms to try and grade the chafing factor…although the latter is something that you have to grade whilst pumping a sweat. 

One has a football match against the big rivals in the morning and my five lingerie options include a sports bra plus 

 

1.Commando – very freeing and badass, like a modern-day Xena: Warrior Princess but too risky

2.Thong – a nice middle ground yet none absorbent

3.Boyshorts – maximum coverage but too suffocating. Hot bot bot

4.Bikini – V to the P to the L 

5.Cheeky bikini. *personal favourite A “cheeky” is variant of the bikini. The coverage in the front is the same as a classic bikini, but a cheeky shows a little more cheek in the back… Cheeky, cheeky Chelfie. It’s not as revealing as a thong or a tanga, it is however more bare than a regular bikini…. Oh here let me show you… 
  
I tried and tested everyone of the style options at matches to see how it would affect my football technique…it was a fun sport experiment. Many styles of sports lingerie are prone to causing wedgies, friction, or suffocation – when I’m playing football I can look at another player and know she is wearing the incorrect underwear….Darling if you want to know the best way to find out what works for you then be an experimenter. With a little trial and error, we can all get to a wedgie-free place!

  

 So I have a big match on tomorrow and I needed new lucky lingerie. Starting with THE absolute essential to training, even more essential than trainers and on the same essential ranking as staying hydrated… The sports bra. One is sick and tired of going to the gym and seeing ladies breasts flying around, I feel sorry for the love lumps, keep them secure and supported. A sports bra really is an essential training companion. The great thing about sports bras is that they are very easy to access and there really is an extensive range out there!

  

The sports bra supports us which is great but honey let me tell you this, do you know what I really love and admire most about sports bras? They have only helped strengthen bras as outerwear…intimates are no longer intimate. In JD sports I found this absolute frisky fuchsia beaut from Nike. The vibrant colour caught my beady eye and I had to have it. The lightweight bra offers compressive cups with removable pads that provide support and a little definition. I was pleasantly surprised…thank you Nike. 
I was all fixed up top and for down below…
You would not believe the appalling reaction I got when I asked the lady in JD did they sell sports knickers. Almost like I had asked a perverse question. The answer was no and that is ok but the facial expression was not ok. The ladies reaction, paired with how cute the sports bra paired with my Victoria Secrets ‘cheeky’ bottoms did spark fury in my belly and questions in my mind

Why is it socially acceptable to wear sports bras to train in, as many of my fellow football ladies do, but not sports underwear? 

Where has this social stigma come from? 

Can you imagine playing football in lingerie?

  
Given the correct material we would never have to worry about visible panty lines, suffocating or wedgies…just a thought.

Lady Mone 

Darlings, 
Last night I had the absolute privilege of meeting Michelle Mone – The First Lady of Lingerie!

  
Like you haven’t already guessed… one was extremely excited and anticipating the evening, Baroness Mone’s presentation to her “Her Fight To The Top”. A packed audience of entrepreneurs attended the Evening Standard Business Connections event at Freemasons’ Hall and Lady Mone absolutely bossed it…bravo Baroness Mone I salute you!
Michelle’s story is extremely compelling – I grasped my chair at moments, Michelle has achieved huge success despite real adversity. One believes true & gritty storytelling is the only true way to engage and attract a huge following. Nobody likes a miss perfect preacher and the truth of it is nobody is one – such is life. 

Listening to the UK’s leading entrepreneur, and one of my heroines true and emotional story helps break down my own superficial wall. It can be a great motivator – a moment of realisation occurred, everyone has a story and its ok to accept who you are and who you are not….lets talk about it.

In the words of my ultimate hero, Maya Angelou ““There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.” 

Lady Mone gave such sound advice on expanding her business and the essential knowledge and passion needed to do so. Michelle had seventeen teenagers working for her at the age of ten #bornentrepreneurdarling
  
What I loved most about Michelle was her genuine humility throughout her story telling despite her now massive success. Openly admitting she was no public speaker like the large majority of us. Michelle shown incredible integrity. At the end of the event her beautiful and genuine interpersonal skills were very apparent as she spoke with each and everyone one of her people…of course me being one of those!

Mone’s business background and her “fight to the top” has been absolutely incredible! Michelle came from a real poverty stricken start in life in the East End of Glasgow and left school with no qualifications at 15 years old – except an A* in sassiness. Lady M started her career modelling, which I’m sure you’ll agree is no surprise, and that’s where she met her now (cheating) ex husband. Some fool made Lady Mone redundant at the age of 27 and this is when her deep rooted entrepreneur nature ignited. Michelle single handily, in her bedroom with a cot and desk founded Ultimo – the bra company!
Now Michelle is the Baroness of Mayfair – what a status! Michelle is also delivering a report that will actually make a difference for start-ups in the UK…this along with Michelles “anyone who works hard and with enthusiasm can be successful” has inspired me to found my own business and FIGHT TO THE TOP!

  

Go with a bang…

Darlings,

It’s Chelfie Mackintosh’s annual bonfire jamboree tonight, 8 till late – Bing BANG bosh! Everyone is welcome but if your name is not down you are not coming in…no paps.

As always I have 3 simple rules

1.One must look fabulous
2.One must remember that safety is paramount – Think what would Welephant do?
3.When asked what rhymes with fireworks? One must answer… Champagne!

I’m not afraid to say that I’m nervous. I’m always slightly nervous before as Chelfie’s parties are the talk of town and quite frankly one has a banging reputation to live up to…

Bonfire night (or bonfire weekend) is by far and away the best night to celebrate and throw a relatively stress free get-together. We always get heaps of people turning up because our multimillion pound firework displays and I are exceptionally popular. It’s a real feel good -love thy neighbour- social event. The guest actually communicate without poor Agatha (house keeper) having to shoot round introducing everyone (“This is Bernard, he’s aircraft pilot ; this is Howard, he’s CEO of Starbucks. You’ll love each other!”) There is just something about fireworks and bonfires that makes people drop their inhibitions, maybe it’s the vulnerable environment that we collectively immerse ourselves in? Maybe it’s the champagne, by the bottle?
At 8.45pm I will will rocket into Daddy’s yard, the music will pause, the crowd will stand still, the spot light will shine so very bright, all for my grande entrance…this year with an almighty bang *spoiler alert*. For my entrance to be super successful and memorable I need to feel and look like the ultimate November firecracker.

There is something about asset hugging, beautifully coordinated lingerie that makes me feel erect and invincible….with that in the forefront of my mind I was on the prowl. Everyone who is anyone will be a there tonight and I need that extra little lift to reassure myself that tonight will be groundbreaking.

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Tonight I am wearing a beautiful grey three piece. I needed a new underwear set in grey. Grey underwear has a terrible reputation; it instantly makes you think of those horrendous multipack knickers that should be illegal or of a mucky bra, originally white, that has been washed with the darks and the only that it belongs is in the trash. Just to clarify neither of those descriptions match the set I was prowling for and stereotyping is very bad.

I found it, I’m quite reluctant to share it with you as I don’t think you’re ready for this shiny, sassy, satin set.

Let me start up top, the grey plunge bra from Ted Baker is crafted from soft stretch crepe fabric with a beautiful pleated satin cup edge and mesh wings (for practical reasons with my entrance tonight this bra was actually a bare necessity). The cup has wire casing for support (this design seems to be signature for Ted Baker bras) and has adjustable straps with rose gold rings and sliders.
And down below, I opted for the matching grey thong. The Ted Baker grey pleated satin panel collection also includes hipster briefs for the same price as the thong…I was feeling cheeky though. Like the bra the thong in also made from stretch crepe fabric with an elegant pleated satin front panel and pink bow and signature ‘B’ charm to the waist.

£35.50  for the set – the 50 pence is just so annoying

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Must dash, I have a party to attend…Ill keep you updated on Twitter @chelfiem

Wonderful Wonderbra – Cleverage central 

Darlings,

It will come as no shock to you that I am a member of the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee – for one to look slightly voluptuous  a thick, boost your assets plunge is my only saviour (with a little help from a cleverage contouring palette). 

For all you ladies (or men) that want to boost your assets you must give this a go – it’s a pain free breast augmentation

 

and there you have it – watch you don’t smudge my cleverage


So for many years now I have been faking it through this sneaky little technique (hey what’s good for the Kardashians is certainly good for the Mackintosh)

I’m off to hit the town tonight with my lovely girlfriend and I have purchased the most amazing white dress which has a cheeky lace dip in the middle. White lace and makeup was never going to work and baby it’s cold outside so I could not brave going braless (daddy would not be happy). Every single bra I tried on with my beautiful dressed looked frumpy and I – with the advances in lingerie technology -refused to be a victim.

I was absolutely over the moon to find a bra that managed to give me some kind of cleavage – without bronzer, without gaining weight, without silicone & with a deep plunge (I only wish I would have found this essential undergarment worn by women to support the breast (or lack of) item earlier, it would have been an absolute summer saviour).

Wonder-what-it-looks-like-to-have-boobies-bra… I’ll show you 

nude duo

This revolutionary bra includes the famous Wonderbra hand technology support (the pleasurable feeling of someone gently holding-up your breasts). It is perfect for that sassy, sexy, strapless, outfit too as it is well…strapless (the foremost bra). The cups are microfibre and I did the wiggle test…darling it is dance proof. At £32 it’s an absolute bargain – I’ll have one in every colour daddy. 
 

silky smooth finish

 

As you all know it is an absolute crime to wear uncoordinated lingerie, so I bought the lovely nude control panties to match. From Debenhams Perfect Shaping range, the panties claim to be  “age defying” (I’m not entirely sure how, maybe the correlation between age and weight ?). The panties are super tight and offer control and shaping from under the bust right down to your thighs, I could only imagine how tricky these would be to remove after champers. I needed control and shapewear with no VPL and a smooth appearance, unfortunately the lace finish was visible under my beautiful white dress. 

One out of two is not bad… 

I’m feeling silky, smooth, voluptuous and ready for my big Saturday night out.

Have a fabulous weekend!

C x

Agent Provocauteur – the essential navy

Darlings

Is £365 slightly extortionate for underwear?

Before we answer that please take a moment to apperciate this frothy-but-oh-so-feisty lingerie & nightwear & evening wear set 

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I have been on the hunt for a new navy number and I am absolutely over the moon with my purchase … Thank you Miss A P!

I absolutely adore the colour navy. It is such an essential colour. It semaphores a sense of underwear calm. Jane Shepherdson, CEO of Whistles reflects my views on the colour impeccably

“When I see someone in navy, I think they are sophisticated, effortless, not trying too hard but with an innate sense of style”

Show me a women who has no navy blue in her intimate apparel collection and I’ll show you a woman who seriously lacks style. Seriously. The absence of black in your underwear collection is understandable – after all it can be draining and downbeat as much as it can be slimming and fierce… Women who wear too much black do not live colourful lives. But a lack of navy blue in all its inky, classic, sharp & expensive-looking glory? Quite frankly, that is intimate apparel nonsense… My collection was lacking navy, lacking sophistication. Teddy my dear you are worth every 36500 pence.

I approached the assistant in Agent Provocauter with my navy nightmare and boy did she hook me up with the ‘Willa Teddy Navy’.

The Willa body is a loose & relaxed fit, the perfect comfortable design allows you to sophisticatedly lounge & sleep in this suit. Crafted in midnight blue silk chiffon, it is decorated along the legline, open sides and shoulders with sheer midnight blue French Leavers lace from the House of Sophie Hallette. For me personally, I believe the decorative lace would add itchy discomfort to my beauty sleep, I simply won’t chance any potential disruption… we all know the perfect solution for that 

  
Chelfie’s Willa top tips:

  1. Play around with it! The deep plunge v-neckline of the gown meets a bagged-out chiffon belt at the waist, which ties at each side, and poppers at the gusset allow for the body to be adjusted accordingly to your desire. I go super tight & fitted everytime!
  2. For ladies with larger assets you could wear with a bra for added support (The Willa bra navy would look superb however any half cup lace bra would work)
  3. Intimate apparel is no longer intimate – wear this beaut tucked into jeans for a sensuous evening look.
  4. Buy Willa guilt free 
  5. Thank me later