Wonderful Wonderbra – Cleverage central 

Darlings,

It will come as no shock to you that I am a member of the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee – for one to look slightly voluptuous  a thick, boost your assets plunge is my only saviour (with a little help from a cleverage contouring palette). 

For all you ladies (or men) that want to boost your assets you must give this a go – it’s a pain free breast augmentation

 

and there you have it – watch you don’t smudge my cleverage


So for many years now I have been faking it through this sneaky little technique (hey what’s good for the Kardashians is certainly good for the Mackintosh)

I’m off to hit the town tonight with my lovely girlfriend and I have purchased the most amazing white dress which has a cheeky lace dip in the middle. White lace and makeup was never going to work and baby it’s cold outside so I could not brave going braless (daddy would not be happy). Every single bra I tried on with my beautiful dressed looked frumpy and I – with the advances in lingerie technology -refused to be a victim.

I was absolutely over the moon to find a bra that managed to give me some kind of cleavage – without bronzer, without gaining weight, without silicone & with a deep plunge (I only wish I would have found this essential undergarment worn by women to support the breast (or lack of) item earlier, it would have been an absolute summer saviour).

Wonder-what-it-looks-like-to-have-boobies-bra… I’ll show you 

nude duo

This revolutionary bra includes the famous Wonderbra hand technology support (the pleasurable feeling of someone gently holding-up your breasts). It is perfect for that sassy, sexy, strapless, outfit too as it is well…strapless (the foremost bra). The cups are microfibre and I did the wiggle test…darling it is dance proof. At £32 it’s an absolute bargain – I’ll have one in every colour daddy. 
 

silky smooth finish

 

As you all know it is an absolute crime to wear uncoordinated lingerie, so I bought the lovely nude control panties to match. From Debenhams Perfect Shaping range, the panties claim to be  “age defying” (I’m not entirely sure how, maybe the correlation between age and weight ?). The panties are super tight and offer control and shaping from under the bust right down to your thighs, I could only imagine how tricky these would be to remove after champers. I needed control and shapewear with no VPL and a smooth appearance, unfortunately the lace finish was visible under my beautiful white dress. 

One out of two is not bad… 

I’m feeling silky, smooth, voluptuous and ready for my big Saturday night out.

Have a fabulous weekend!

C x

Mean Girls – Halloween Special – Fairy Fugitive

Darlings,

Halloween is approaching…

All my blessed life one thought that Halloween was about dressing spooky, fake blood, toffee apples, trick or treat, flour and eggs.

Regina George – your best girlfriend who eventually becomes your best enemy because she may have seemed like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality, she was so much more than that…taught us that

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This year I am wholeheartedly adopting Regina (who we all love to hate but yet deep down admire) George’s advice. All hail the Fairy Fugitive (Victoria refers this piece as her bow baby doll, let’s keep it our secret, don’t tell Vicky)

Watch me work it...roar

Watch me work it…roar

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I absolutely love the caged torso

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Honey forgot her fishnets

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Excuse me, is my wand down there ?

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Flaunt it – cut out sides and a cheeky little lift!

This Haloween I was tossing up between dead school girl, devil or black cat (where on earth would I get a three sided coin from to make this decision for me?)

I am totally joking, I am having a very private Haloween party this year with my boo and less is more (don’t tell Daddy). The oh-so enchanting bow baby doll with a sheer mesh hoop skirt, embroidered bows and lace-trimmed straps caught my beady eye. Sexy, scary (once you apply fishnets over your head) & sassy.

I know that with the push-up padding, underwire cups, adjustable straps and garters, back hook-and-eye closures it’s as practical as it is pretty. Take me to a seductive place!

What will you be this Halloween dear?

Agent Provocauteur – the essential navy

Darlings

Is £365 slightly extortionate for underwear?

Before we answer that please take a moment to apperciate this frothy-but-oh-so-feisty lingerie & nightwear & evening wear set 

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I have been on the hunt for a new navy number and I am absolutely over the moon with my purchase … Thank you Miss A P!

I absolutely adore the colour navy. It is such an essential colour. It semaphores a sense of underwear calm. Jane Shepherdson, CEO of Whistles reflects my views on the colour impeccably

“When I see someone in navy, I think they are sophisticated, effortless, not trying too hard but with an innate sense of style”

Show me a women who has no navy blue in her intimate apparel collection and I’ll show you a woman who seriously lacks style. Seriously. The absence of black in your underwear collection is understandable – after all it can be draining and downbeat as much as it can be slimming and fierce… Women who wear too much black do not live colourful lives. But a lack of navy blue in all its inky, classic, sharp & expensive-looking glory? Quite frankly, that is intimate apparel nonsense… My collection was lacking navy, lacking sophistication. Teddy my dear you are worth every 36500 pence.

I approached the assistant in Agent Provocauter with my navy nightmare and boy did she hook me up with the ‘Willa Teddy Navy’.

The Willa body is a loose & relaxed fit, the perfect comfortable design allows you to sophisticatedly lounge & sleep in this suit. Crafted in midnight blue silk chiffon, it is decorated along the legline, open sides and shoulders with sheer midnight blue French Leavers lace from the House of Sophie Hallette. For me personally, I believe the decorative lace would add itchy discomfort to my beauty sleep, I simply won’t chance any potential disruption… we all know the perfect solution for that 

  
Chelfie’s Willa top tips:

  1. Play around with it! The deep plunge v-neckline of the gown meets a bagged-out chiffon belt at the waist, which ties at each side, and poppers at the gusset allow for the body to be adjusted accordingly to your desire. I go super tight & fitted everytime!
  2. For ladies with larger assets you could wear with a bra for added support (The Willa bra navy would look superb however any half cup lace bra would work)
  3. Intimate apparel is no longer intimate – wear this beaut tucked into jeans for a sensuous evening look.
  4. Buy Willa guilt free 
  5. Thank me later 

B by Ted Baker… Tantalising trio!

Darlings…

I have found us THE tantalising trio by Teddy B – I salute you Mr.T Baker

As I shopped in Debenhams, St.Andrew’s Way, Newcastle (Toon) – for Yves Saint Laurent Touche Éclat (the make-up essential for tricking your way into the I actually achieve a solid “8 hours sleep everynight” look )- I found myself in the lingerie section, admiring  the Ted Baker range B by Ted Baker.

The range consists of  beautifully delicate and yet bold colours complemented by gorgeous designs. Think simply stylish and fabulous. Fit for many occasions. The three prints which Teddy B categories this range in are  botanical bloom pink, botanical bloom grey or oil painting… I am unsure which this tasty trio comes under but I have tweeted @ted_baker to query (I’ll keep you updated dear)
The triangle bra is £22 – chic and very affordable.

This triangle bra is finished in pale pink, a cheecky chic update to any my lavish lingerie drawer. Once I slided it on the effortlessly feminine look was apparent (sassy & classy). The bra features an all-over floral lace design, the signature B charm dangles just below the cleverage…saucy.  
 
The suspender belt also features the B charm above the navel…naughty. 

   
  

The thong finishes this look off to an absolute tee. Reveal & conceal, sass & class.
I need stockings to compete the ménage à quatre – disappointedly Ted Baker did not have any stocking available – at the moment I have straps from the suspender belt dangling down ones legs not a ravishing look… With the teddy trio totalling to £49 I am one happy Chelfie – totes bargain.

Monday Funday…that’s the spirit dear. Debenhams.

Monday afternoon…what is a lady of leisure like Chelfie Mackintosh to do…I’ll help you answer that shall I?

Recently my intimate apparel purchases have been bodysuits, teddies & jumpsuits. Perhaps it is due to the change in season ? Perhaps it is a conincidence? Perhaps the brands have all up their game in the sector and are heavily competing? 

It was a fresh Monday afternoon – I don’t understand why people have the hump grump on a Monday afternoon, so many resting bitch faces-  this Monday afternoon I paraded down King Street in Manchester city centre, as happy as one could be. I was ready to explore the beautifully exquisite world of lingerie. 

I passed a homeless lady -I always give to the homeless- and I did not have any cash (only Daddy’s AMEX) so  I offered my posh nosh Goats Cheese, Pepper & Onion Chutney Focaccia sandwich. I get the upmost pleasure through helping others – simple good deeds and random acts of kindness – the pleasure comes deep from my heart and soul, it is a trait permeated from my amazing Mother.

I knew I wanted  needed a body suit – that I was certain of. 

I wanted to explore as I had not preselected the chosen one. Debenhams is the perfect store for this as the store retails 71 intimate apparel brands under one roof – panties paradice. Every woman understands the importance of good underwear and at Debenhams, you can explore a fantastic range of lingerie to support and flatter every body shape. Whether you’re in search of great everyday bras, perfect fitting plus size bras, matching knickers, luxurious bridal lingerie or sculpting shapewear, you will get fixed up darling! Brands include Freya, Ultimo, and Wonderbra, as well as the Designers at Debenhams range – the only issue here is too much choice…

  

Debenhams own range “Spirit” had jus the gorgeous bodysuit I was looking for – in plum with a stunning purple petal lace design on the bust and trims. 

 

cheeky Chelfie

 
The bust is sheer with supportive elastic trims, and the body is made from a supportive & soft  fabric which is oh so flattering for any body shape – it is also remarkably comfortable and reasonably priced at £30.
P.S Must style with mask for the ultimate sassy finish. 

Monday Funday…that’s the spirit dear. Debenhams.

Monday afternoon…what is a lady of leisure like Chelfie Mackintosh to do…I’ll help you answer that shall I?

Recently my intimate apparel purchases have been bodysuits, teddies & jumpsuits. Perhaps it is due to the change in season ? Perhaps it is a conincidence? Perhaps the brands have all up their game in the sector and are heavily competing? 

It was a fresh Monday afternoon – I don’t understand why people have the hump grump on a Monday afternoon, so many resting bitch faces-  this Monday afternoon I paraded down King Street in Manchester city centre, as happy as one could be. I was ready to explore the beautifully exquisite world of lingerie. 

I passed a homeless lady -I always give to the homeless- and I did not have any cash (only Daddy’s AMEX) so  I offered my posh nosh Goats Cheese, Pepper & Onion Chutney Focaccia sandwich. I get the upmost pleasure through helping others – simple good deeds and random acts of kindness – the pleasure comes deep from my heart and soul, it is a trait permeated from my amazing Mother.

I knew I wanted  needed a body suit – that I was certain of. 

I wanted to explore as I had not preselected the chosen one. Debenhams is the perfect store for this as the store retails 71 intimate apparel brands under one roof – panties paradice. Every woman understands the importance of good underwear and at Debenhams, you can explore a fantastic range of lingerie to support and flatter every body shape. Whether you’re in search of great everyday bras, perfect fitting plus size bras, matching knickers, luxurious bridal lingerie or sculpting shapewear, you will get fixed up darling! Brands include Freya, Ultimo, and Wonderbra, as well as the Designers at Debenhams range – the only issue here is too much choice…

  

Debenhams own range “Spirit” had jus the gorgeous bodysuit I was looking for – in plum with a stunning purple petal lace design on the bust and trims. 

 

cheeky Chelfie

 
The bust is sheer with supportive elastic trims, and the body is made from a supportive & soft  fabric which is oh so flattering for any body shape – it is also remarkably comfortable and reasonably priced at £30

P.S Must style with mask for the ultimate sassy finish. 

Victoria’s Secret : Chantilly Lace Plunge Teddy (bear)

Adjustable strap testing technique ;)

Adjustable strap testing technique 😉

Sunday – the Sabbath – a day of rest

rɛst/
verb 
1. cease work or movement in order to relax, sleep, or recover strength.

Hello darlings…

I hope your Sunday has been as splendid as mine – let me tell you all about it.

It has been three whole days since I had purchased any form of lingerie- quite frankly one was having withdrawl symptoms. Must.purchase.a.corset/teddy.

I needed a hug, a thin wrapper on my body, a corset or teddy brings just that along with sexy temptation – a schmully Sunday’s perfect attire.

Alone I sat and I had the burning desire to purchase a teddy!

When I’m looking for the perfect lingerie there are a select few brands that we all know and love – it’s no surprise that Victoria’s Secret is one of those.

I have found the perfect balance of reveal and conceal.

Crafted in beautiful lace, this curve-skimming shape is ultra-daring with a low-cut front, open back and V-string bottom.

Unlined (conceal), Adjustable double straps (do not adjust great – very loose), Hooks at back (double strap too dear), Allover Chantilly lace (to die for fabric – the most light and delicate of all) Plunge front (saucy touch) Open back (sexy back) string bottom (reveal)!

Chantilly Lace

Chantilly Lace Conceal 


Reveal

Reveal

Accessorize – prinny perfect – Bralet

Want to add something more feminine to your underwear drawer dear?
Delicate and pretty: this Monsoon bralet is designed with sheer triangle cups, long-line straps and a wide band that sits comfortably under the bust, and slips on and off with ease.

I say Monsoon.. It’s “Accessorize”… I am slightly embarrassed to say so due to the Princess crown above the I…if you’re over 16 then that is just not ok.

Anyhow, since it had been made crystal clear that one didn’t need much support – never been a C cup chicken – I though I may try a sassy lace Bralette on for totes femininity… Ya! 
£14 for the machine set…what an absolute steal!

Gee is it underwire which bumps the cost up?

Are Accessorize competing with Primark?

A brand spanking new set of ravishing underwear for £14…what on earth am I questioning for?

I am intruguied to see how sustainable this lingerie is – I’ll keep you darlings updated.

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Ultra-skimpy Judy’s electrifying playsuit 

Agent Provocauter

Tuesday 15th September 2015

15.00-17.00

Darlings please just hear me out on this saucy, sparkly, sassy number…

Ultra-skimpy Judy is the ultimate showgirl piece. Impeccably crafted from black elastic strapping, the electrifying playsuit stars a triple choker collar, anchoring further elastic straps which radiate down and out across the breasts culminating in large rose-gold rings above each hip. Criss-cross straps wrap across the stomach and around the waist to the rear. The elastic is embellished with glimmering iridescent crystals, adding a hint of sparkle to this ravishing number.
Come to Momma. Ultra-skimpy Judy  Chelfie – you’re in for a treat

With a whopping price tag of £325 one must head down and slip this slinky number on before I wack it on Daddy’s AMEX. My heart is racing  at the recollection

razzle dazzle

It was Tuesday and I LOVE Tuesdays

After seeing the very attractive female in the black ultra-skimpy Judy Chelfie I needed to recreate this beguling look…one didn’t have a seductive satin blind fold (must rember to purchase)so a pair of fish net stockings were packed for substitute.

I meandered through Selfridges in Trafford Centre, Manchester, trying to compose myself – I was feeling very mischievous and I have no doubt that it was written all over my countenance.

My eyes were frantically searching for the ultra-skimpy and it was no where to be seen. I lapped the store once, twice, three times. I was in lingerie heaven but I set my heart on Judy and I was going to find her and own her. I could not see any pink ladies and darling trust me when I say that I.was.getting.annoyed.

I found myself staring and smiling at the whip – I honestly do not think its acceptable to share these disturbing thoughts with you – they’re not raunchy, oh no, more aggressive and disturbing at the thought of not getting my hands on the Ultra-skimpy electrifying playsuit…

Like an angel from heaven the lovely assistant appeared – hallelujah – praise the Lord

“Hello there can I help you my dear”

“YES YES YOU CAN”

I recited the whole description to her proud, LOUD and with every ounce of passion that lives inside my body – it was Oscar worthy

“I need the black Ultra-skimpy Judy, you know the ultimate showgirl piece. The impeccably crafted playsuit made from black elastic strapping, the electrifying playsuit stars a triple choker collar, anchoring further elastic straps which radiate down and out across the breasts culminating in large rose-gold rings above each childbearing hip. The straps wrap across the stomach and around the waist… Right to the rear.  Embellished with glimmering iridescent crystals, this ravishing number is SPARKLE! WHERE IS JUDY?”

“Oh yes they’re in the back I’ll go and grab you one”

There is a God

“DON’T FORGET THE MATCHING NIPPLE TASSLES” (is one line that you shouldn’t shout in the centre of Selfridges at Trafford Centre – but hey I was completely lost in the moment and I couldn’t have gave a toot!

Just applying my pasties

Oh look…just me applying my pasties

It fit like a glove, a sexy slinky elastic glove. The playsuit is one size fits all – from past experience I usually find I do not fit it the “all” category – it fitted all perfectly.

I pinged the black, embellished criss cross straps to test the wear of the fabric – Judy was spanking me and I loved it. The material is thick, black elastic you could hang from the roof by the large rose-gold hoops and Judy would keep you safe – this is not Chelfie behaviour, it’s just a suggestion if that’s what you are in to.

As the pink lady handed the nipple “tassels” over she corrected me as they are in fact “nipple pasties”. Everyday I strive to learn something new. That lesson for today was complete and this justified spending £325 on a very naughty classic.

Don’t tell Daddy.

“You’ve never been a C cup chicken”

Chelfie Mackintosh

Boux Avenue
Liverpool ONE
Sunday 13th September
16.00-17.05

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Boux Avenue L1

Never did one imagine that she was wearing the wrong bra size – I am lingerie queen… I mean darling they’re my nearest and most dearest assets – the voluptuous, fibrous and fatty tissue humps sit right in front of my heart. Alas, all this time Chelfie Mackintosh has been mistaken… I am (apparently) a B cup… A minute, teeny freaking weeny B cup…

Darling please let me tell you how this revelation came about…

So I arranged to meet one of my girlfriends for a Sunday brunch date – I took a cab all the way into Liverpool…to be stood up.

On my fine lonesome, I paraded through Liverpool One shopping centre slightly miffed until a cheeky sign caught my eye “Free Knickers With Matching Bra” hats off to Boux Avenue’s marketing team… You bloody geniuses… I looked into the glass window, directly in-front of the manakin, my head was on a slim beige plastic body wearing a beautiful royal blue two piece… I walked (very fast paced, possibly a slight run) into the store.

Bloody genius

Bloody genius

A gorgeous and super glamorous “scouser” greeted me with a beaming smile as soon as I stepped my designer shoes in Boux Avenue store, the immediate recognition with a smile was very pleasant and came at a surprise.

“Hi how are you today? Why don’t you let us measure you and give you a free bra fitting today?”

My instinct, as always, was to politely refuse as I know my bra size and I don’t want a lady with cold hands touching my torso or seeing my assets… actually…as I began to think in the millisecond, I had not had a bra fitting in years and I had time since I was… stood up.

“Yes absolutely, jolly good, that would be marvellous”

The lovely scouse girl escorted me through the store into the changing rooms –  I did not fully examine the intimate apparel as I was being escorted through the store. I did manage to grab two beautiful sets of lingerie, however they never made it on *sob sob*

I was passed over into the caring hands of Vanessa –  Vanessa was wearing yellow patent dolly pumps which made one feel uneasy

“Take your top off and go in there, leave your bra on though… I’m Vanessa”

Righty-o, sure thing Vanessa. Demanding, firm and stern – I’ll do as she says, I hope I interpreted her correctly. I did exactly as she said. I removed my blouse and stood in trousers and a bra. Vanessa knocked once and entered the changing room, she asked what bra size I thought I was… I presumed 32C – Vanessa let out a howl

“You’ve never been a C cup chicken”

Hold your horses… Did Vanessa really just refer to me as a domestic fowl kept only for its eggs or meat?

After my tape measure examination, I took my 30 B bra measurement card and flounced out. Without free panties!

It broke my heart to leave these hanging

It broke my heart to leave these hanging